MishpishFood Allergy Dilemma: The Easter Disaster
April 2nd 2008 01:10
A friend was telling me the other day of how exasperated she felt over Easter. Her child has a severe food allergy to nuts and eggs, and she finds Easter the trickiest of all holidays. Everyone kept giving her child easter eggs... although it was a nice sentiment, she was left with a screaming child when she had to throw the eggs away as she didn't know if the eggs were nut free or not.
But for her this wasn't the worst of it. On Easter Sunday she went to her husband's family for Easter lunch. Although her in-laws are well aware of the allergies and precautions that needed to be taken, they had bought a gigantic egg for the non-allergic child, and then gave the allergic child a handful of jellybeans. "Why should your other child miss out on Easter? She doesn't have the allergy?, was the reason stated". My friend let these comments go (she had already given both children easter eggs that were nut free). But things still got worse.
Lunch was a beautiful roast with all the trimmings which everyone enjoyed. Then it came time for dessert. Out came a gigantic pavlova (eggs!). When the now-furious friend asked what her child could have for dessert, the in-laws piped 'oh, she can have some fruit'. Teary and frustrated, my friend walked out on the meal.
"They should be supporting and helping me, not causing me even more problems", she explained to me. "I've given her recipe books and I asked her if she wanted me to bring dessert, and she had told me no."
Many of us have faced similar situations. As parents of children with allergies, we are always trying to walk a fine line of providing a 'normal' upbringing for our children while taking the necessary precautions to ensure our child's safety. Food allergies that are life threatening cause a constant state of stress that those outside of the situation cannot fathom. We always worry about our children eating something allergic and it's a fear that never leaves. Yet we always feel bad that the child is missing out on treats and feel we need to compensate for this.
My friend's in-laws couldn't understand the frustration and stress she was causing, because she hadn't been told. Yet, she failed to explain the menu and that she hadn't accounted properly for the child's allergies. Communication failed and the fallout was felt for weeks after.
It's not always easy to help friends and loved ones understand the impact that your child's allergies has on your lives, but it's important to try. As the saying goes "with understanding comes acceptance".
My trick when I'm in these situations is to break out the epi-pen and give a lesson on how to administer it if needed. Seeing the pen seems to drillt home the message "MY CHILD COULD DIE IF YOU STUFF UP". After that I usually have no problems!
But for her this wasn't the worst of it. On Easter Sunday she went to her husband's family for Easter lunch. Although her in-laws are well aware of the allergies and precautions that needed to be taken, they had bought a gigantic egg for the non-allergic child, and then gave the allergic child a handful of jellybeans. "Why should your other child miss out on Easter? She doesn't have the allergy?, was the reason stated". My friend let these comments go (she had already given both children easter eggs that were nut free). But things still got worse.
The cause of the disastrous Easter
Lunch was a beautiful roast with all the trimmings which everyone enjoyed. Then it came time for dessert. Out came a gigantic pavlova (eggs!). When the now-furious friend asked what her child could have for dessert, the in-laws piped 'oh, she can have some fruit'. Teary and frustrated, my friend walked out on the meal.
"They should be supporting and helping me, not causing me even more problems", she explained to me. "I've given her recipe books and I asked her if she wanted me to bring dessert, and she had told me no."
Many of us have faced similar situations. As parents of children with allergies, we are always trying to walk a fine line of providing a 'normal' upbringing for our children while taking the necessary precautions to ensure our child's safety. Food allergies that are life threatening cause a constant state of stress that those outside of the situation cannot fathom. We always worry about our children eating something allergic and it's a fear that never leaves. Yet we always feel bad that the child is missing out on treats and feel we need to compensate for this.
My friend's in-laws couldn't understand the frustration and stress she was causing, because she hadn't been told. Yet, she failed to explain the menu and that she hadn't accounted properly for the child's allergies. Communication failed and the fallout was felt for weeks after.
It's not always easy to help friends and loved ones understand the impact that your child's allergies has on your lives, but it's important to try. As the saying goes "with understanding comes acceptance".
My trick when I'm in these situations is to break out the epi-pen and give a lesson on how to administer it if needed. Seeing the pen seems to drillt home the message "MY CHILD COULD DIE IF YOU STUFF UP". After that I usually have no problems!
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